It’s about all I can manage. Forgive me. (And sorry, too, for being such a crappy blogfriend lately. I seem to have lost the ability to comment. I’m hoping it returns.)
- So far, I think I’ve done no discernible work in 2008. I can’t get my head into this chapter, and the other chapters seem even more daunting. So I just keep shuffling my (tiny) outline around, and lethargically looking at sources and data without actually doing anything with them.
- I haven’t heard a peep back from The Advisor about either of the two chapter drafts OR whether he’ll be writing recommendation letters for the fellowships for me. I need to email and prod him, but really, it’s just kind of disheartening.
- Sitting here all day trying to work and randomly surfing the internet instead is getting very, very old.
- I’ve been buying too much stuff on eBay. I really do understand that I don’t need to buy all the things we’ll need for the baby RIGHT NOW. I get that we still have nearly five months, and everything I buy right now will have to be stored. But I’m finding excellent prices on things we need on eBay, and I’m stressing about not having enough money to get everything we’ll need later, and I’m stressing–though I understand that this is lame–about not having a baby shower, and so I just keep buying random things. Many, many random things.
- My mom is doing pretty much the exact same thing, including the shopping-online-for-the-baby-stuff. Packages arrive here almost every day from her–a couple baby hats, a box of my nephew’s outgrown stuff, random snacks. It’s nice–Mom knows I’m lonely and a little sad and is doing her best to cheer me up. My mom does rock.
- This whole isolation thing is a gigantic pain in my ass. Most days, I work–uh, pretend to work–for awhile, then I go out for a walk somewhere—usually just downtown to get something to eat, or over to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner, though sometimes I go for long, aimless walks. I like long, aimless walks–I used to do a lot of these on the East Coast too–and I do enjoy my own company, for the most part. But I get a little tired of myself, too. Today is a gorgeous day outside–perfect weather, a little bit of a breeze, sunshine. And it’s making me feel much more miserable than the past few days of rain did. This weather makes me want to go do something with people whose company I enjoy–it makes me want to go for a walk with IB/DM, or go drink beer at the bar with the patio with Bad Idea, or go camping with Skycat and the Yogini, or drink afternoon martinis with Bad Idea….yeah. Inexplicably, this weather makes me miss Bad Idea terribly.
- His birthday is this weekend. I’m debating whether to call him or not. I might, but it seems fairly pointless.
- Holy crap, this is a depressing set of RBOC.
- I’m really hoping the mail gets here soon.
- That sounds sad.
- Fucking hell. I’m not really sure how to improve my current situation. I heard GB tell his mom on the phone the other day that we were thinking about maybe moving back up to the Bay Area next year…mostly because I’m miserable. Moving would be good–I’m clearly not getting much out of this area, and I honestly don’t see a way to change that. But that’sĀ a year off.
- On a happier note, GB and I are watching a LOT of movies lately. As of this week he’s only working regular hours–no more overtime, for now–so we’re watching even more movies than before. And we were already hitting the DVDs pretty hard.
- We just started Dexter, which is pretty good. I think Michael C. Hall is a fabulous choice for the creepy-wannabe-normal serial killer. Now that I think about it, his role on Six Feet Under totally had the seeds of this role in it. It’s also fun seeing Julie Benz in something besides Angel (though GB and I have a very hard time not saying “Darla!” in David Boreanaz’s awful Irish accent every time she’s on-screen).
- We’re planning on starting The Wire after this. I know a lot of you love it, and we’ve never seen any of it. Thank gods for Netflix.
- All right. I have to work. I have to do something that vaguely resembles work. Arrrrrgh. How do I get back into the working? If I’m going to have a full draft done by June, I need to write three–maybe four–more chapters in five months. I’m fairly certain, right now, that that’s just not possible.
January 7, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Girl, you can do it. I believe in you!!! write something…anything..the RBOC was a good start. I’m sitting here doing the same thing…plugging along and having tractor beat me in fluff races when I’m down. Just stick with it….the key is getting the momentum started. Start in the end or the middle, or do transition sentences to give you a kick start.
Oh…and I didn’t get my Thai—though GF is going for japanese so I can eat in front of the puter….
January 7, 2008 at 5:51 pm
If it’s any consolation, I’m totally suffering writers’ block too… I have to finish this conference paper by Wednesday and am hating it.
But more importantly, I believe you need to send me an email with your RL address. Just in case I, you know, get inspired. š
January 7, 2008 at 6:57 pm
I keep getting outbid on ebay, so you’re doing something right.
January 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I’ve heard The Wire is good. V decided we NEED to watch it NOW after hearing that the theme song is a Tom Waits song.
January 8, 2008 at 3:48 am
I think we should have a virtual online baby shower for you and everyone sends a present.
January 8, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I second the Doctor. Presents can include, but need not be limited to, cookies and tiny baby items.
January 8, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Dancingfish, I had no idea the theme was a Tom Waits song! Now I’m even more psyched to watch it. š
Brazen and Kermit, while I would never turn down cookies and goodwill, I hope that didn’t sound like I was trolling for gifts. Trolling for sympathy, sure. But then, I’d never turn down cookies and goodwill. š
January 8, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Hey, I never heard how you liked those cookies I sent— I wasn’t sure if you were a ginger fan or not!
January 8, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Weezy, I *LOVED* the cookies! I’m not a giant ginger fan–I like it, but it gets a bit much sometimes–but I loved those. Very yummy. Everything in there was awesome. (Well, I didn’t try the booze….) š
January 8, 2008 at 11:21 pm
so sorry you are feeling a bit sad and isolated right now, i know how you feel. take care.
January 9, 2008 at 3:15 am
Of course you weren’t trolling for presents! But if we all knew each other in real life and lived near each other, we would certainly throw you a real life baby shower. So why not an online one?