As seen first at New Kid‘s.

1. My uncle once told me not to tell my dad he smokes weed.

2. Never in my life have I seen Top Gun.

3. When I was five my little sister was born, and my grandma died.

4. High school was sheer hell.

5. I will never forget Waylon’s birth. That may or may not be a good thing.

6. Once I met a guy who might have actually been a deer. It’s a long story (but a cool one).

7. There’s this boy I know who really should have slept with me. I’m just sayin’.

8. Once, at a bar, I met GB. History, the rest of it is.

9. By noon, I’ve had two cups of coffee and am wondering if I should have a third.

10. Last night Waylon went to bed WAY too early, wreaking havoc on the rest of the night and morning.

11. If only I had more self-confidence.

12. Next time I go to church pigs will be flying.

13. What worries me most is pretty much everything.

14. When I turn my head left I see Waylon’s favorite toy (though his is different colors and has bugs instead of that bird thing).

15. When I turn my head right I see Waylon and GB.

16. You know I’m lying when I say I don’t want ice cream.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is Atari.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Hamlet. Totally.

19. By this time next year I hope to be getting ready to start some kind of job….

20. A better name for me would be “OCD about everything but dirt.” (This was New Kid’s answer, but I can’t do better than that for me either)

21. I have a hard time understanding high heels.

22. If I ever go back to school, I hope to be the professor.

23. You know I like you if I try to kiss you when we’re drinking.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be Gospel Bob. Whatever I won it for, I’m sure I drove him crazy in the process.

25. Take my advice, never do three different drugs in one afternoon. Or, uh, so I hear.

26. My ideal breakfast is cooked by someone else.

27. A song I love but do not have is “Sister Golden Hair.” I always love it whenever I hear it, and then I forget all about it.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you carry a gun. For real.

29. Why won’t people just pay me to hang out with Waylon? (Oh, wait, that’s kind of what my dissertation completion fellowship does…)

30. If you spend a night at my house you will be squished all night by the two giant cats sharing the twin bed with you.

31. I’d stop my wedding for many things (it took us 10 years to get there, waiting a little longer wouldn’t have been a problem).

32. The world could do without Tom Hanks.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than read the DaVinci Code.

34. My favorite blonde is GB.

35. Paper clips are more useful than I am.

36. If I do anything well it’s sleeping (when I get the chance).

37. I can’t help but worry.

38. I usually cry because–as one of my favorite artists says–the world is so beautiful and life is so short.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece is not to dig too deep into family stories..you don’t want to know.

40. And by the way, thanks to everyone who’s sticking with me in blogland, even though I’ve been a bad blogfriend. I appreciate it. 🙂