July 2008


….which, of course, I did not write.

OMFG! I just remembered I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail… You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Dudes!

I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with only your readership as life preserver, being distracted by the shiny, just generally being an embarrassment to anyone unfortunate to cross my path. My day is passing in a blur from the second I am woken by murderous Teletubbies to 11pm at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am totally loving it, dudes. I need a nap.

I send you kisses. I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. No, really! Unless of course the pool with the cocktail bar is heated.

(Thanks to Dancingfish for pointing me toward the Lazy Blogger’s Post Generator. Just what I needed today!)

  • GB’s job ended yesterday. This is the contracting job that he’s been doing since November. We knew it would end eventually, but not when. Day before yesterday, he was at work until nearly 3am (yes, AM) working on a super-deadline project. Then yesterday he went in and discovered that the case he’s been working on was settled. Surprise!
  • This is a very good thing, in a way: GB gets to be home now, spending time with me and Waylon, which makes me (and GB, and Waylon) very happy. And I don’t have these super-long days with just Waylon and me. And we have enough money in the bank to not panic, yet, about that, so we’re mostly looking at this as a Very Good Thing.
  • Though I’m still  a little worried about the money, but I think it’ll be okay. I get the first half of my fellowship money in September, and we’re about to start another job search for GB.
  • In San Francisco.
  • Yes, really. Whooohoooooo!
  • Can we afford to live in SF? Well, no. We can’t. But we’re looking at it (again) as temporary. I’m on the job market this fall, and we have no idea where we might end up next year, if I get a job (uh, WHEN I get a job). So we’re looking at more contracting work for GB–enough to keep us in SF for a year. Seems do-able.
  • Though, of course, now we have to find him that job up there.
  • And we have to find an apartment. And convince them to rent to us with the shitty credit and the not-quite job and my money coming from a fellowship (which many landlords seem to think is not-quite-income, which I find confusing–what’s not-quite about guaranteed money for a year?).
  • Oh, and i just discovered that our lease here is up on September 15.
  • Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
  • That gives us less than two months to find GB a job up there; find an apartment; rent said apartment; hire movers (oh FUCK yes we are hiring movers this time around); and get the three of us, the four cats, two cars, and all of our belongings moved.
  • Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I thought we had more time on this.
  • Excuse me while I freak the hell out.
  • Someday I want to try living in a city that is not so expensive that people (in other places) just laugh and laugh when I tell them what rents are like. Though, obviously, not next year.
  • We also get to–once again–try to rent an apartment in a city we’re not currently living in. Which is a whole lot of complicated.
  • I am so sick of moving. Seriously. GB and I have moved 9 times in the 12 years we’ve been together.  This will be number 10.
  • And we’re moving again next year, most likely.
  • I’m tired.
  • But whooo! Back to SF! Hoping we can make this happen….
  • Leads on jobs or apartments are welcome. Bring ’em on. Also welcome: reassurance that we can, in fact, do this again.
  • Also welcome: offers of moving help.
  • Here’s a smiley Waylon, which helps with calming down my freakouts (it’s hard to get a good picture of him smiling, but damn, that smile is freaking awesome):

  • Waylon’s baby acne is seriously out of control. I know it’s normal, but damn, it’s really unfortunate. Is there anything I can do about this? I know it’s not bothering him, but honestly, it’s kind of bothering me. It really looks awful.
  • Ditto the cradle cap. My poor little boy is definitely at an awkward stage right now. Any cradle cap remedies, friends? I’m all angsty about my crusty, scaly baby.
  • I’ve been avoiding the Lactation Consultant because of our 2-bottles-a-day decision. The thing is, the 2 bottles a day are working for us. GB gets to feed Waylon (which he loves); I get about 2 hours of sleep at one time (the most I sleep all day–I usually get about an hour at a time); and Waylon gets some extra calories. And he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble switching between the bottles and the Magic Boob (we’re using these bottles, which I think might help). But I know that the LC is not going to be okay with the bottle decision, even though I think it’s going pretty well. And I’ve stopped using the syringes to supplement, since he’s getting more in the bottles. So yeah. I’m avoiding the LC, because I am pretty sure she’s going to yell at me. Or at least look Very Disappointed, and freak me out about Waylon not wanting to breastfeed, which is clearly not the case.
  • I’m avoiding her SO much that I bought a baby scale. You know, so I don’t have to be all dependent on taking him to her for the weight checks. Yes, it really is a whole new level of avoidance for me. Anyway. The scale is coming today, so I can check his weight here at home….then, I figure, if he’s gaining okay I can either go see her, or not…and if he’s lost weight or isn’t gaining well, I can, um, maybe talk to the pediatrician instead.
  • I might have some issues. I’m just saying.
  • I’m amazed at how long these days are, hanging out here with Waylon. I’m trying to figure out how to get us out of the house, but it’s not going so great yet. Mostly, I’m just trying to figure out how to negotiate normal daily stuff. It’s challenging. I have no idea how y’all do this. But I’m hoping I learn soon…
  • I did finally get a sling that I like, so that will help, eventually. I love that I can put it on while I’m already holding Waylon–a huge improvement over the pouch slings, for us. Yesterday I actually went to 7-11 with him in the sling…okay, only about half a block, but it’s a start.
  • Have I mentioned the not-sleeping? Yeah. In six weeks, there have been about three times I’ve slept for 2-3 hours. Mostly, I sleep in 45-60 minute bursts. I feel like a zombie all the time. It’s getting old.
  • Challenge of the day: I have to figure out how to do a load of laundry. Actually, I think I may have to wait for GB to get home for that. I’m not sure I can figure that out. (It would involve taking Waylon out to the laundry room out back…and I’m not sure I’m coordinated enough to manage all that in the sling.)
  • Dudes. If I can’t do a load of laundry (or eat, or sleep, or use the bathroom….) how the hell am I going to finish my dissertation this year? I haven’t worked on it in months, and I can’t even begin to imagine how to work on it now.
  • Angsty bullets aside, we’re mostly doing okay. Waylon is 6 weeks old now! And I think the Zoloft is kicking in, because I’m angsty, but feeling like I’ll figure this all out eventually. Which is an improvement.
  • Oh–and Waylon is smiling now! Which kind of really does make it all worthwhile. Really, I can’t get enough of those smiles. I haven’t gotten one on film yet, but I’m working on it.
  • How are you guys?

Can’t believe I didn’t check this before…Waylon shares a birthday with (among others) Allen Ginsberg, Curtis Mayfield, John Paul Jones, Ian Hunter, and the keyboardist from Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Cool.

(Angsty post to follow…)

H has a new blog pseudonym.

Say hello to Waylon.

I think it’s kind of perfect on a lot of levels.

Hola friends. I’m still here. Still having trouble actually doing anything (including reading/commenting on blogs)–I am very much  looking forward to actually, you know, leaving the house and Doing Stuff someday.  For now, though, I feed H, and nap, and then it’s time to feed H again. And I still can’t get him to seem comfortable in any of my many slings, so I’m feeling like I can’t do much….but we’re working on it.

Anyway. We’ve been doing the supplementing with the syringes, which is such a gigantic pain in the ass I can’t even tell you, and H just pretty much screams through the syringes and shoots me such a stinkeye as you have never seen from a month-old baby. (1 month today! Whoohoo H!) But it’s working, apparently: he gained 7 ounces in 6 days, which is very good.

I have to say, though, that I am feeling incredibly tempted to just give him the supplemental formula in a bottle and be done with the whole syringe-screaming part of my days. (GB gives him the syringes when he’s home, and H screams through those too…and GB is pushing for the bottles over the syringes, too.) I know the lactation consultant (who is on vacation right now, but we’ll see her on Tuesday) will be all, OMG, don’t do it or he’ll never breastfeed again, but I’m not sure I buy that whole “nipple confusion” thing. I have these bottles that are supposed to be more like breastfeeding, and besides, I have this baby who is all about The Magical Boob, and I find it incredibly hard to believe that anything would keep him away from it. So yeah. That’s what’s going on here. I’m trying to convince myself that a bottle would not be the end of the world for him, and that we could still continue to enjoy The Magical Boob and give mama a break at the same time. And my sisters are all, he’s your baby, do what you think is right, and I’m all, Oh, I have to do it a certain way and is the lactation consultant going to yell at me? and what is the Right Thing To Do? So that’s exhausting. And I’m hoping I come around soon.

Hey, how was that for a ramble? H is napping with grandma in the other room and I am so enjoying the rare typing with two hands.

Okay. I look forward to rejoining the world and the blogosphere someday. I miss y’all. Feel free to offer me the Cliff’s Notes version of your recent events in the comments here, because the feeds are starting to stack up in my Bloglines.

Gratuitous Baby Picture, titled “If my baby’s so tired, why won’t he sleep more than an hour at a time?”: