I’m still here, and yes, I’m still pregnant. Nothing new, and I’m a little tired of hearing myself whine, so blogging has been light.
I realized recently (again) that I might be the most impatient person in the world. I have no idea how to wait for things without driving myself crazy. And something like waiting for this baby–where I have no idea when he’ll show up, and no idea really what to expect from this whole upcoming experience–is just about my idea of hell.
GB is on some huge project at work and has been working way too hard. Last night he didn’t get home until almost 1am. This makes me unhappy. I hate being here alone all day (I’m feeling very needy and anxious lately, as I might have mentioned), and I hate that if I go into labor right now, say, not only do I have to call him back from work, but he’s so exhausted lately. He’s hoping that if H. shows up this weekend, he waits until late on Sunday so that GB can get some rest this weekend. I understand this thinking, but I am really at a point where I don’t want to be pregnant for another day, so we may be kind of working against each other here.
In other news, my sister (who is awesome for at least trying to have a conversation with me that involves more than “have you had the baby yet?”) asked how my dissertation is coming. This question makes me want to cry. I really do believe that I’ll be able to get back to the diss and finish it on my projected schedule (by next spring), but right now it’s just impossible to imagine doing any more work on it, and I hate that.
See? This is why blogging is light. Whiney whine whine. I’m even boring myself with this crap.
(And the irony of all this is that I *know* that once H is here–whenever that is–and my mom gets here in 2 weeks, I’m going to look back longingly on these days where it’s just me sitting quietly at home, napping and watching Law & Order. But it doesn’t really make me appreciate this time any more right now.)