• A week or so ago, the air conditioner leaked into the house. It was just that one time; it hasn’t leaked before or since. But it happened that the one night it leaked, GB’s laptop was right under it. His laptop hasn’t turned on since. I’ve spilled many liquids on my laptops in the past, and I’ve always been able to dry them out. His, though, just seems to be fried–i can’t figure out what the problem is. When you hit the power button, nothing happens except that two amber lights come on near the ethernet ports. My brother (who happens to do tech support for Dell, conveniently) suggested (unhelpfully) that the motherboard probably got fried. I just took the whole thing apart and put it back together, and now the battery light blinks, but nothing else happens. I think it’s dead.
  • I feel bad that GB’s laptop is dead, and I’m amazed at how blase he is about it. Granted, he can use mine, and there’s a Mac desktop in the other room, and he’s on a computer at work all day. But still. If it was me, I would already have a replacement, and I worry that he wants one but feels like he shouldn’t get one, or something. But maybe it’s really not as big of a deal to him as it would be to me.
  • I am Still. Pregnant.
  • I am so freaking over being pregnant. I’m beginning to consider some of the natural labor induction tricks. I wish that The Sex was more appealing right now…the whole baby-head-in-my-pelvis thing is making that particular induction technique distinctly unappealing. Still. I really don’t want to be pregnant forever. I may have to try something soon.
  • I think I would be more gung ho about bringing on labor if it wasn’t for my continuing (and yes, hopefully irrational–and thanks to everyone who’s tried to convince me of that) fear of dying.  Kind of puts a damper on things.
  • I have been eating all day. Just little things here and there, but I can’t seem to stop snacking today.  I know it’s stress and boredom induced, but I find it annoying, even as I reach for another snack.
  • Also? There is not enough water in the world for me. I am refilling the 34 oz. Bubba Keg constantly and peeing every five minutes. Yet I’m still thirsty, and my feet are still swelling. And by “swelling,” I mean “gigantic lumpy troll-looking feet.”
  • Have I mentioned that I am, physically, completely and totally miserable? Yeah. I thought I might have mentioned that.
  • I wish I could do even a tiny bit of work on the dissertation right now. I’m feeling awful about abandoning it, but I can’t seem to get back to it. The other day I tried to take a few notes from a book I need for this chapter…And lasted about 20 minutes before I had to give up. I just can’t concentrate, can’t focus, and don’t give a shit.
  • I realized today that I am supposed to be on the job market this fall, which means I am supposed to be interviewing at the Big Damn Conference in November. I had a mini-freakout about this until GB finally convinced me that I really can wait and freak out about this after H is born.
  • It was kind of nice of him to give me permission to just focus on freaking out about H’s birth.
  • My sister sent me a necklace with a stone that is supposed to reduce anxiety. This was especially awesome because I really haven’t told her much about my horrible anxiety lately. I hope it helps–I think it’s been helping a bit so far, actually.
  • Along the same lines, one of my fabulously kind and awesome blogfriends sent me some White Light, from BPAL’s Twilight Alchemy Lab. I’m psyched about this too–I’ve heard great things about it. I’m planning on having it with me during labor & delivery too. See? I’m working on conquering my fear of dying.
  • I’ve been a bad blogfriend lately, and I haven’t been commenting enough on your blogs. I feel bad about this too. I feel like I keep making people come over to my house to hang out, and  then I refuse to return the favor. But I’m visiting–I’m just having some trouble coming up with coherent comments. I’ll keep working on it. Don’t give up on me yet.
  • I’ve been having *tons* of the Braxton-Hicks contractions that tighten up my upper abdomen. Since Saturday, I’ve also been having nearly-constant cramping (kind of like menstrual cramps, though not as bad as my regular cramps) and lower back pain. I really think this should be early labor. I don’t understand why it’s not. Can I even still call it “prelabor” if it goes on for days? I’m really hoping this all means that things are Happening, even if they’re subtle right now.
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