For the most part, I’ve done really well not being on my anti-anxiety meds for the past eight months. Surprisingly well, actually. No major anxiety attacks, no panic attacks, and dealable levels of the OCD.*

In the past few days, though, the anxiety levels are completely out of control. I’m having anxiety attacks again and feeling like I’m constantly fighting off panic attacks–I’m generally shaky, feeling like my heart’s racing (though it’s really not), feeling kind of dissociative, lightheaded, and weird. Oh, and convinced I’m dying. That’s a nice one, huh? And obsessively worrying about GB’s health and safety. Like, to the point where I get myself all weepy, thinking about all the things that could happen to him. And me. And H.

This is no fun.

I don’t really know what to do about this. Meds are out right now.** I try to just do some deep breathing when the anxiety gets really bad, but it doesn’t seem to do much–maybe I’m not doing it right (see, I’m worrying about how I’m breathing–I am a freak).

Do any of you smart and well-adjusted people have tips for handling anxiety disorder/attacks and fending off panic attacks without drugs?

*My OCD is heavy on the O, light on the C. It mostly manifests as obsessive thinking, usually about terrible things happening to GB or random horrible images and thoughts. I have very few (if any) real compulsions, so I guess that’s something to be grateful for.

**GB is really hoping I can go back on something after H. is born–he’s worried that if I’m anxious now, I’ll be a complete freak when H. is here and I’m worrying about him in Real Life. I’ll talk to the doctors about that, but the research I’ve done about SSRIs and breastfeeding is not promising. I’ll keep looking into that, of course.

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