A few years ago, GB and I realized that we tend to be giant emotional messes on every equinox and solstice.
There’s no good reason for this. But over the years, it consistently happens that I’ll wake up feeling all out of sorts and grumpy and emotional for no good reason, and then I’ll look at the calendar and there one of the Big Four will be. Maybe whatever factors converge to allow those eggs to stand on end are messing with my cells, too. Whatever.
So yeah. I’m really out of sorts today. Here are my random whines, in no particular order:
- GB got a new PS3, which is fine and all–he’s been working really hard, he deserves it. But he’s working 10-12 hour days. So he gets home at 9:30pm, we eat a quick late dinner, and then he plays the freaking PS3 until 3am. Needless, to say, I am sound asleep by midnight these days. Then, because he stayed up so late, he gets up even later, goes into work later, and comes home later. Rinse and repeat, and that’s our past week. I am So. Over. only seeing him for half an hour a day. (He did swear this morning that there will be no more late PS3 nights during the week, so that might help a bit.)
- Having GB at work so much means that I have a *lot* of day to fill up on my own. Normally, this isn’t a problem. Lately, though, I’m afraid of my dissertation, and being all avoidant with it. I don’t feel like I can work on chapter 4–I just don’t know what’s going on in there, and while writing it would help with that, I’m feeling very, very daunted. And I’m terrified to actually READ the (Ex)Advisor’s comments on the first two chapters. Yes, I know there are probably a lot of little editing things in those chapters that I could fix, and that would make me feel like I’m working–and maybe I’ll get to some of those later today. But mostly, I don’t feel ready for the enormous task of totally rewriting what I’ve written so far, and writing another chapter feels kind of futile. So, long story short (I know, too late), I’m stuck.
- I have to go buy cat food. The cat food place is absurdly far from me, considering what a vastly consumer-oriented town I live in.
- Also, I really want to be complaining to someone about how uncomfortable I am (already) and how tired I feel and how anxious I am about, well, everything. I whine to my mom and sister, but that’s not very satisfying. So yeah, I’m still very grumpy about having no friends here, and having very minimal contact with most of my friends in other places. I really want to go out for coffee (or a bloody mary–virgin will do, in a pinch) with a friend with a good sense of humor and a sympathetic ear. I have a lot of those friends, but none within at least 500 miles.
- Have I mentioned that my dissertation hates me right now?
Okay. Whatever. Whine whine whine. I’m just cranky and tired and I lack anything like motivation.
Also? There’s a guy next door, just over the fence (right outside the window I sit next to All. Fucking. Day.), who spends all day, every day (I am so not exaggerating), outside whistling. Just whistling. Not a tune. Not a song. Just random whistled notes. I thought it was a bird, for awhile, but it’s totally random and non-melodic, and only a human could be that annoying. It’s been going on for weeks. It drives me completely insane.
Whew. I feel better. Not much, but somewhat.
Happy Spring anyway, Northern Hemisphereans.