The crappy parts:

  • Writing in paragraph form–even thinking about writing in paragraphs–makes me tired. These are much more efficient.
  • Everything makes me tired, right now. The “third trimester fatigue” has struck with a vengeance. It’s likely that I’m anemic–I was before getting pregnant, so I’d be shocked if I wasn’t now. (I had a blood test at my last dr. visit, but they told me to go ahead and start taking extra iron before I got the results back.) I missed a few days of the iron pills. Yesterday, I was too tired to move. It was crazy. Like trying to move through molasses. A lot like my early hypothyroid days, actually. I slept for a giant part of the day.
  • And I’m exhausted again today. This is not good for the dissertation.
  • The dissertation is stalled, to say the least. This morning I’ve written about 250 words, which marks my first attempt at writing anything at all on this chapter. Which is good. But I’m feeling totally stalled in anticipation of the Big Scary Comments on the other chapters, on their way from the (Ex)Advisor. I’m not in a good dissertating place.
  • Two of my friends had to put their kitties to sleep this weekend. My heart aches for them, and my cats don’t understand why I’m smothering them with all this unwanted affection today.
  • I miss everyone lately. I am deep in the throes of Huge Nostalgia. I miss all my many, scattered, long-distance friends horribly. I miss the bumper pool basement like it was an old lover. I miss Bad Idea in a very peculiar and intense way lately.* I miss, for fuck’s sake, the crappy dive bar in SF where GB and I met. I am all-nostalgia-all-the-time right now.

Okay. I promised fun-on-the-horizon, too. The weather’s too nice for all gloom-and-doom around here.

  • GB and I are off to SF for the weekend! It’s a quick trip–we go up Saturday late morning, and come back Sunday night. I know that Saturday plans involve me finally getting to eat the Best! Sub! Ever!, which I have been craving for about six months, as well as a party/shower-thing. I’m very excited about the SF trip (although I’m very anxious, as always, about traveling, flying, and going into preterm labor in SF–which isn’t likely, I realize, but traveling brings out all my OCD anxiety. It’s a short flight. I should be fine. Right?) and seeing all my SF people, though this will be my first time ever hanging out in SF for a weekend and not drinking. (Yes, ever. I was a heavy drinker the whole time I lived there.) That’ll be, uh, interesting.
  • Jason is visiting next weekend. I am ridiculously excited to see him (see Nostalgia, above). GB is even more ridiculously excited, between the exhibition games they’re attending, the Avett Brothers show we’re all going to, and the copious amounts of drinking Jason will do with him. That’ll rock.
  • We have another ultrasound at the doctor’s the same day Jason gets here (the 27th)–they weren’t able to see everything they needed at the “big” u/s a couple months ago. So we get to see H. again, which is always awesome. And I’m thinking I should be going to the more-frequent appointments anytime now, which is good for my ever-increasing paranoia and fear about my and H.’s health. (Though nothing, as far as I know, is actually wrong–I just get all paranoid with every new twinge, discomfort, or pain. I am a big fan of the medical intervention and monitoring.)
  • I think I may have fast food for lunch. Again. I’ve decided to go ahead and stop freaking out about my weight. Yes, I know I’ve already gained a lot, and I will gain more. But mostly, I eat pretty healthy–lots of fruit, fiber, non-meat protein. So you know what? I’m going to eat my Happy Meal and try not to freak out about it this afternoon.

*I sense that this has more to do with missing this part of my life–the drinking, flirting, after-hours, making-out part–than with the actual Bad Idea. Though I do miss that little freak, too.