I am having a hell of a time getting back to work after the holidays. I had that great burst of productivity with the two chapters, got the fellowship applications in (early!), and then…nothing. GB’s been around a bit more–he’s not working weekends now, and had Christmas and New Year’s off–and I just don’t work when he’s home. I don’t do anything, really, but enjoy having another human to actually talk to face to face. (Poor GB. He sees more of other humans every day at work than he’d like, and then he comes home and his rapidly-expanding-and-not-so-attractive wife is all, OMG, I have to tell you every single thing I thought about today. He’s a good sport.)

Even when it’s just me here, though, the work, she is not so much happening lately. I have two things I should be working on right now: my next chapter draft, and the paper I’m supposed to be presenting at a regional conference in March. Here are my issues with those:

Chapter draft: I have no idea how to begin addressing this chapter. I have ethnographic data for it, but *no* actual theory to discuss, no real sources to cite…Nothing. This is the chapter that’s about one specific thing that this group of people do; it’s loosely based on a more popular practice that a much larger group does, but it’s very, very different. Thing is, even the more popular practice isn’t something that academics tend to bother writing about. So I have, basically, nothing to say about this practice, except a lot of “here’s how they do it, and why.” Which really doesn’t seem sufficient.

I think that solving this is going to require reading some other dissertations that use my methodology. I’m not sure how that will help, but I suspect it might.

The conference paper: I dreamed up a paper based on the conference theme. The topic is straight out of my dissertation research, of course, but probably won’t result in anything that I can actually use for the diss. I don’t really even want to deal with this anymore, to be honest. It’s a small, regional conference, and I’ll be 30 weeks pregnant when it rolls around. It’s only about an hour away, but still–it just sounds like a giant pain in the ass, and there’s not a single other thing on the two-day-long program that I’m remotely interested in. I really, really want to bail on this.

Friends–is that something I can still do? Can I contact the moderator and say that due to unforeseen blah blah blah I’m forced to withdraw from the program? Because I don’t see getting enough out of this to justify the pain in the ass it’s going to be.

So, yeah. I’m not getting any work done. I’m obsessively poring over the goddamn baby registry (which, apparently, my mom has decided she is single-handedly responsible for…Mom is seriously out of control with the baby-gift buying. We still have to store all this stuff for five more months…), reading pregnancy message boards that inevitably piss me off, and generally doing nothing at all. I don’t smell very good, my house is Not Clean, and I’m craving cupcakes, thanks to my Facebook “friends” who sent me virtual ones this morning. While I appreciate the virtual cupcakes, now I’m thinking that I need to shower and drive over to the Really Good Bakery and pick up some real ones. And see, that sounds MUCH more appealing than sitting here struggling over the writing.

I’m telling myself that I woke up depressed and I deserve cupcakes. And I’m secretly hoping that this baby ends  up weighing 20+ pounds, because otherwise? These pounds I’m packing on are All Me.

Okay. I’m off on my cupcake quest.