My New Year’s resolution for 2008 is “adequacy”.
It started as a joke, talking to Aunt B. over Christmas. Aunt B. is big on the resolutions, and together she, GB and I have come up with some great ones. When she asked what mine was for this year, I said, without really thinking, “This year, I don’t want to overachieve. I don’t really want to underachieve, either. I just want to be completely mediocre in my achievements.”
And then I started thinking, you know, that might be the perfect resolution for me for 2008. Vowing to be amazingly brilliant and productive never gets me anywhere but frustrated and angry with myself. So this year, I resolve to do exactly what I need to do to get by, in all areas.
Dissertation: I need to just finish it. It doesn’t have to be brilliant. It doesn’t even have to be interesting. I just have to convince three people (my committee) that it’s sufficient. Which means it does need to get written.
Baby: I am going to continue eating when and what I want to eat, sleeping when I’m tired, and trying to enjoy (and not rush) these last few baby-less months. And then? I am going to try to be a perfectly adequate mother. If I happen to be a good mother, eventually, that’ll be awesome. But for now, when it scares the crap out of me, I’m going to work on taking it a step at a time.
Life In General: Yep. Adequate. That’s what I’m aiming for.
I know. It sounds lame. And I’m not really explaining it the way it is in my head. But it makes sense to me, and it gives me something to counteract the brain-critic that constantly tells me I’m not good enough. Hey, brain-critic? Shut up. I’m doing fine.
To “Good Enough” in 2008!