September 2007


Things have been kind of quiet in the Buzz/Bob part of the blogosphere lately. We’ve been settling in, learning our way around our cool new town, and trying to get back on track after not doing any work for way too long. I did about 15 minutes of freewriting on chapter one of the diss the other day, and it was horribly painful. Clearly, I need to set up a schedule and get to it.

For now, though, I thought I’d give you a little glimpse of what’s been keeping us busy. Here’s our new place:

Cute little landscaped courtyard:

our cute little landscaped courtyard

Front door:

part of the big front room:

toward the kitchen, with cat:

most of the kitchen:

So, yeah, moving in has been keeping us busy.

So has this:

 

Not clear enough? Here’s another:

Yup. About 8 positive tests (thanks, OCD), and I’m starting to almost believe it. We’re only at 4 weeks and 1 day, so “cautiously optimistic” is the motto around these parts.

But dudes. We’re having a baby. How weird is that?

Our new apartment rocks.

For real. It’s the nicest apartment we’ve ever had, and we’re completely smitten with it.

We just got our internet turned on, after days and days of none…needless to say, we have some catching up to do with y’all.

Thanks for all the good wishes and support….More soon, when I’m done being overwhelmed by how much I missed the internets while they were gone.

I am one happy Luckybuzz.

Goddamn. I am so tired of these dreams.

I’ve had anxiety dreams every single night for the past…well, pretty much since we left the east coast. It’s getting old.
Some are clearly about a specific topic: my advisor sadly shaking his head at my lack of progress; colleagues in my program telling me they’re defending their dissertations, and how is mine coming?; presenting nonexistent chapters at Big Scary Colloquia; realizing that Giant Conference (where I’m presenting a paper in November) is actually, you know, tomorrow. Classic anxiety dreams, and it’s clear that these are my subconscious prodding me to actually DO SOMETHING about the dissertation. The mystery to me, on these, is why I wake up and proceed to waste the entire day when all I have to do is SOMETHING to make myself feel a little better.*

But the other dreams…goddamn. Last night it was giant (like, King Kong sized) gorillas–camouflaged as trees–in Fancy Pants University Town; and trying to meet up with the Yogini and Bad Idea–separately–and realizing too late that I don’t live near either of them; and endlessly attempting to return phone calls; and trying to kick six people out of the bathroom while I was trying to shower (though my sister did give me some conditioner, which was nice); and a wall of boxes blocking the hallway to my apartment (okay, not so hard to figure out). And that was just last night. But they’re all like that–every night, all night.

A few nights ago I had a dream so complicated, annoying, and anxious that by the end of the dream (while George W. Bush was twirling a four-foot-long wooden cross in the hotel lobby behind me) I was searching desperately for a comment card, just so I could complain to someone.

——-

*But the other part of the problem is that I’m waiting to be in our own apartment (Friday!), and I’m stuck. I can’t even imagine how to begin to progress, right now.  I know–just write something. But I’m at the point where I literally can’t even think about the diss–I try, and my brain just shuts it off. I am praying to every god listening that the change in environment next week will let me start some good habits. For fuck’s sake.

We went out with the family last night to a steakhouse for GB’s birthday dinner. GB loves him some steak, and it’s fine with me for a bunch of reasons:

  • I’ve been vegetarian since I was 13, so I’m used to finding things to eat anywhere;
  • I’ve recently been eating fowl and fish (though I’m thinking about cutting the fowl back out), though in both cases they have to be disguised to not look like what they were;
  • I’ve never been the kind of vegetarian who cares what other people eat…to me, it’s a choice I’ve made based on what I want to put into my body and the kind of impact I want to have on the world (environmentally, karmically, whatever);
  • When both GB and GB’s grandpa put on suit jackets (and, in GB’s case, an entire suit) for dinner, you know they’re excited about it…and what kind of heartless bastard could take issue with that kind of Dinner Glee?

I ordered the chicken, which was fine except that it was a little too…chickeny (i.e., not breaded, fried, and nugget-shaped), so I ate my potato and salad and complimentary pineapple sherbet, had a couple bites of my chicken, and asked for a to-go box.

There was a lot of steak leftover, too, so we got another styrofoam box and crammed an enormous amount of meat into it.* I picked up the boxes as we left, and held them on my lap for the drive home.

On the way home we passed a field of cows, and–instinctively, impulsively, and awash with guilt–for a split second, I moved my arms to hide the steak box from the cows.

*Um. That’s what she said? Or he said.** Thank god I can’t check my keyword stats anymore (damn you, WordPress!), so I’ll never know what kind of crowd that sentence is attracting.

** Warning: audio file! SFW, but still.

Happy birthday to Gospel Bob! In the grand tradition, I won’t say how old he is, but it rhymes with “dirty jive.”

I don’t know how he’s doing it, but he really does keep getting cooler, and cuter, and sexier, and funnier, and more totally awesome every single year.

[Secret message for GB: Happy birthday, sweetie! I love you so freaking much!]

Go give him some birthday love, willya? And then go give him more, because he’s just. that. awesome.

GB’s newest post reminded me that–despite my whining, bitching, cavilling, and general curmudgeonliness–my life does, in fact, kind of rock. And we did, in fact, have an amazingly fabulous weekend in SF.

God *damn* I love that city. I love it with the love of an infatuated 13-year-old. I want to write “luckybuzz + sf” in my notebook with hearts around it. I want to marry it and bring it coffee in bed and wake it up with kisses. Friends, it’s the Gospel Bob of cities. I miss it.

But the weekend rocked. Here are a few reasons why:

  • Despite not having seen us in a year, 16 friends, old and not-so-old, came out to the bar Friday night. That’s freaking awesome.
  • As GB also mentioned, our amazing bartender–who only sees GB and I once a year when we come in with the big group o’ drunks–gave us a round of shots on the house. She does this Every. Single. Time. we’re all there.

  • We had Yellow Sub! In the park! Yu-fucking-um.
  • We had paneer tikka korma at Indian Oven, the best Indian restaurant in the whole fucking country.
  • We had burritos. Oh, San Francisco burritos, how I miss you. There is nothing like you anywhere else.
  • A friend showed us a really cool piece of the city we’d never seen before. Here’s a tiny bit of it:

And tucked away along these stairs we found these, and a few of them were even ripe, and they were sweet and juicy and unexpected and excellent.

  • And we wandered around and bought records and stayed at two friends’ houses and petted five kitties and laughed more than I can remember in way too freaking long (probably since the last time I saw you. Yes, I mean you.). And I got to do the whole weekend with this guy:

which makes me, pretty much, the luckiest person ever. So yeah. Maybe I need to cheer the fuck up, already. Cheer up, Murray! Yeah, see, I feel better already.

*Damn, I love Flight of the Conchords. Go watch this, if you don’t recognize the line in the title here….

Sorry for the no-blogging lately. I’m tired, and a little depressed. That’s my whole excuse.

Though we did have a fabulous weekend in SF, which I want to tell you about…sometime. But for now, here’s this. She did it, and she did too, and they’re cool, so I’m jumping on board. There will be a real, interesting, entertaining, thought-provoking blog post….um, maybe someday.

Okay, so: bolding things I’ve done, starring things I’d like to do, crossing out things I have no interest in.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink (but I think there were only, like, four people in the bar)
02. Swam with wild dolphins*
03. Climbed a mountain (I’ve climbed big hills…)
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09.Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea*
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights*
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables*
18. Touched an iceberg*
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen an eclipse (lunar and solar)
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 10 provinces or all 50 states* (getting close…)
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales*
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland*
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers (“posed”? Uh, not quite…)
61. Gone scuba diving*
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake Dead River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”*
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house*
91. Been in a combat zone (I’ve lived in some urban equivalents…)
92. Buried one of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in aisles at Rocky Horror
96. Raised children*
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour (maybe a few shows in a row, not exactly on tour)
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (halfway)
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an illness that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback (what does this even mean? A drug flashback? A Vietnam flashback? Why the assumption that people want to be “held” during a flashback? This is a seriously annoying one.)
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild (I’m guessing magic mushrooms count…)
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi (veggie only)
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach (WTF???)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language (cats count, right?)
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone’s life

Okay. Look. Those were lame. I’ve done this one before, and I swear these are written by 14-year-olds. Hardly any of these are on my “life’s to-do list”…the vast majority of things on here I couldn’t give a shit less about doing, and I don’t think this is the definitive list of things-one-must-do…. Now I’m grumpy. Grrr.

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