• First, apologies for being a bad blogfriend. As my computer is still dead and I’m still working on GB’s old iMac, commenting is not so easy. I’m trying to comment here and there, but I keep being thwarted. I’m still reading, though!
  • Yeah. My computer is still dead. I bought a new hard drive, and had GB’s mom mail me a Windows XP disk (since we’d already shipped all our software to the in-laws’).
  • Good news: both arrived yesterday. I settled in for an evening of installing the hard drive and Windows, until…
  • Bad news: first, it took me two hours to remove the screw for the hard drive cover (which, of course, I stripped). Removal required two separate trips to find a teeny screwdriver. Removed the hard drive, put the new one in, and discovered…it’s not possible to install Windows from an external CD-ROM.
  • Why the fuck is this not possible?
  • I don’t know. But everything I found basically said “sorry, no.” Since the cd/dvd drive on my laptop has been dead for over a year, this puts me in a bit of a predicament.
  • Made another trip to Best Buy. Did you know they only sell CD drives for desktop computers? No, neither did I.
  • Bought a new CD drive from ebay. Have no idea if it will work or not. Will I ever get my laptop back? Will the CD drive show up before we leave on TUESDAY? Stay tuned…
  • We leave on Tuesday. Ack!
  • Called Bad Idea yesterday afternoon and told him to call me if he wanted to get drinks later. Never heard from him.
  • Which mostly sucks because I wanted to tell him that I actually don’t think we should fuck before I leave. I think we need to leave it at the heavy petting. But since I didn’t get to tell him that during our brief phone conversation, now it feels like he blew me off because of the Great Expectations fear (and yeah, I do tend to agree with that analysis. My blogfriends are smart. S-M-R-T smart!).
  • In case it’s not quite clear, I’m feeling a little sensitive lately.
  • GB is on his LAST DAY of the Bar Exam today. Go GB!
  • I am absurdly jealous that, while I’m sure the Bar is grueling and all that, GB is getting to spend this week hanging out with them. My consolation: I’m headed out to that coast soon, too!
  • I am just a giant mess of emotions.
  • Tom Petty was right about the waiting being the hardest part. Though I’m fairly sure Tom wasn’t waiting for what I’m waiting for. (This is a pseudo-cryptic message. Three of my blogfriends know what I’m talking about….)
  • I swore to the Advisor that I would have a chapter to him by August 1st. He made me promise.
  • I won’t.
  • I actually can’t work on my dissertation right now. All of my data is in PC-only software formats. I can work on the actual text of the chapters, I guess, since I have them in Google documents….but I don’t have access to any of my primary data or secondary sources. That’s making it seem a little difficult.
  • Also, there’s this whole moving-in-five-days thing going on.
  • I’m not sure what to do about this. I’m thinking about just emailing him my updated chapter overview (which is a complete reformulation of the structure of my diss, based on my last conversation with the Advisor) and explaining the whole moving/broken computer thing and promising the chapter by September 1st instead.
  • He is not going to like that.
  • Option 2 would be to send him the chapter as-is: a brief outline with a lot of “XXX goes here…THINK ABOUT XXXX here???” I don’t actually think he’d like that, either, and I feel like he’d be more inclined to think I’m an idiot with option 2.
  • But see, that’s my problem with the diss overall: that it has to be perfect, obviously, and so not only can I not send him anything (because it’s not perfect), but I can’t even write anything down.
  • I’m afraid that if I tell the Advisor I don’t have a chapter for him, he’ll decide it’s not worth his time to continue being the Advisor (since he’s already off at New University).
  • On the other hand, I *don’t* have a chapter for him, and holy fuck, can’t I get a little slack for moving across the country with no apartment, no job, no computer, and no money?
  • Oh, speaking of money: good news! I met with Financial Aid yesterday and learned that a) my eligibility for next year is TWICE what I thought it would be, and is, technically, enough to live on; and b) my financial aid officer offered to advance me several thousand dollars from next year’s loans–enough to put down first, last and deposit on a (cheap) apartment. So the time living with the In-Laws should be fairly brief…yippee!
  • Bad Idea, IB/DM, me, and maybe the Squirrel (and a few other random friends-of-friends) are going to see this guy tonight. I don’t really know him, but the Squirrel and Bad Idea love him. Should be fun.
  • GB comes home early-early Saturday morning–hooray! I’ve missed me some GB.
  • I do worry that GB will be appalled at the amount of packing/moving shit out that I haven’t done while he’s been gone…
  • I pretty much feel like I’m letting people down all across the board.
  • I am very much in an end-of-an-era phase. And the mood to go with it. I’m kind of looking forward to some fresh starts.
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