I just got my second order from BPAL, and I am giddy with excitement. I immediately sniffed all the little imps, and settled on four to try (yes, I realize it’s hard to judge a scent when you’re wearing three others. But seriously, YOU try picking ONE scent to wear when you have NINE NEW BPAL SCENTS show up at your house, all at once.)

(If you’re an addict like me and you’re playing along at home, today I got: Bastet; Numb; Beltane; Lilith; Eclipse; Snake Oil; Embalming Fluid; Roadhouse; and Sloth.)

Here’s the thing: every time I try a new scent, I ask GB to sniff it, to see what he thinks.

In GB’s world, all scents fall into three categories: they either smell like incense, baby powder, or pie.

So I extend my wrist, or elbow, or wherever the current scent d’heure is, and GB sniffs and says, “Mmmm, incense.” Or “Hmm. Baby powder.” Or, in one bizarre case (because it was not a foody scent), “Mmmmmm, pie.”

GB’s sniffer is broken, and I’m the one paying for it. Send help.