• Sadly, I can no longer ignore the connection between heavy drinking and panic attacks. Drank a bunch with IB/DM, Bad Idea, the Wrangler, and the Wrangler’s new girlfriend last night, which was fun. Panic attack this morning? Not so much fun. The klonopin is kicking in, but daaaaamn. This is a seriously unfortunate link.
  • I completely ignored Bad Idea’s halfhearted invitation for after hours at his house. He was all, you can come up, but I have to get up in like five hours…and I kind of pretended not to hear him and announced I was getting a cab. He said, But over winter…we can totally do after hours over winter. Yeah, we’ll see. I don’t find him as attractive anymore, but I’m pretty sure I’d still mack on him if the opportunity arose.
  • That was a totally uninteresting bullet, but I feel bad that I can’t give you Bad Idea stories anymore. I’ll try to come up with something new and exciting for you for winter.
  • My mom had a minor car accident last night. She’s fine, but there have been altogether too many close calls lately, and it’s not making me happy.
  • A very, very dear friend (and ex, but since he’s been a much better friend that’s what I’m calling him now) who lives, literally, all the way across the country, called to tell me his doctor found spots on his lung x-rays. This is potentially bad news. My RL friends know him–maybe y’all could send some good vibes his way, and hope for good news on his tests next week.
  • Court was completely uneventful. The lawyer representing the credit card company was making settlements with people before the hearings started. I told him I had no income, blah blah blah, and asked for proof of the debt. The lawyer–a more-middle-aged-than-me, very Lutheran looking guy, agreed to send me the proof and requested a continuance until mid-February, when we can talk about my financial situation. Then he said, “Can I ask what you’re getting your doctorate in?” and when I told him he said, “Oh, that sounds so interesting!”–completely taking me by surprise and forcing me to smile unwillingly. Heartless bastards.
  • I haven’t done anything resembling “work” in…maybe a week now? Well, wait–about three days ago I actually wrote a bit of chapter one, for like 20 minutes. Go me! And ugh. Where is my fucking motivation? Weezy? Have you wooed it away with pizza rolls?
  • I actually didn’t gain two pounds over Thanksgiving week–at my “official” weekly weigh-in (in my bathroom, not at a meeting, but whatever), my weight was exactly the same as the previous week, and seems to be on the downswing again (and I’m rapidly approaching the 20-pound-loss mark). Whoohoo! And I’ve upped my weights and reps, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be totally buff any minute now.
  • This self-indulgent set of bullets brought to you by klonopin, rain, and my imminent nap.