Apparently this has been making the rounds, at least in some circles, but I found it here. I’m not sure if there’s bumper pool happening tonight, or just More Exhausting Packing, but a meme seems like a decent idea right now. This one might be long enough to make me grumpy…hard to say at this point though.

GRUB-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice?

Ranch. I like other dressings okay–I’m newly a fan of the Newman Asian-Sesame–but nothing is as universally awesome as ranch. What *isn’t* it good on?

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

I have a sad, secret weakness for Taco Bell.

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?

A bunch of local ones that we go to over and over…as far as chain restaurants, I like Chili’s. They’re *way* too salty (even for me), but those black bean burgers are freaking awesome.

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?

20%–sometimes more, depending on the size of the bill.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?

Pasta, with just about anything on it. I could do just butter and parmesan cheese for 2 weeks straight (and I have). Actually, I tend to eat the same food over and over for weeks before switching to something else–I’m sure that’s just another manifestation of the OCD, but it works for me.

Name three foods you detest above all others.

Well, I don’t eat mammals, so anything connected to mammal-eating grosses me out. For me, I mean; I have no problem with other people eating whatever the hell they want, and I’ll even throw my veggie burgers on the grill with their mammal-burgers. I just don’t want to eat them.

What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?

Tofu and broccoli. I’m way too tempted by crab rangoon, too; I just have to eat it fast and not think about it.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?

Veggies of any kind (see above)–I like lots of toppings on my pizza. Ricotta and pineapple is an old favorite of mine. I also like banana peppers with anything else.

What do you like to put on your toast?

I really don’t think I eat toast.

What is your favorite type of gum?

Not so much a gum chewer.

TECH-OLOGY

Number of contacts in your cell phone?

70.

Number of contacts in your email address book?

135 in my gmail contact list. But the Squirrel is in there, even though he doesn’t have email, and some school people aren’t, so it’s hard to say. Also, boring.

What is your wallpaper on your computer?

One of the XP standard ones–the one that looks like you’re underwater and looking up through the surface. It’s called–oh, “ocean.” Duh.

What is your screensaver on your computer?

The slideshow from My Pictures.

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?

There are, in fact, and they come up randomly (and much to my amusement) when my screensaver is on. I have to remember to change my screensaver when my mom is around, or when I take it to school.

How many land line phones do you have in your house?

None–haven’t had one in 4 years.

How many televisions are in your house?

2, plus I have a TV tuner to watch TV on my laptop, but I never use it.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least?

All of them. Well, that’s not true; I need the oven and the microwave to heat up all the frozen stuff we eat. I don’t use the blender often enough.

What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?

Lately I’ve been listening to one of those “we play everything” stations when I’m in the car.

How many sex toys do you own that require batteries?

Um…three? I’m not sure. I’ve been neglecting them. Not for any better reason, just out of general neglect…

BI-OLOGY

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?

Tough question–lately, this question is almost impossible for me to answer. I usually say my hair, but not so much lately. And I used to have the Original Magic Ass, but not so much anymore. Hmm. You tell me. I’d appreciate it.

Are you right handed or left handed?

Right, totally. Can’t do anything with my left hand. Oh, wait, not true; I can actually throw a perfect spiral pass with a football with my left hand. But not my right. And totally by accident.

Do you like your smile?

Yeah, though I wish I showed less gum.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

Tonsils and adenoids. And a fake pearl that went up my nose when I was four. I sniffed it because I was convinced–I remember this vividly–that it would smell like lavender. It didn’t.

Would you like to?

Oooh, a proposition! Oh, wait….never mind. I see. Uh, I think I’m okay with keeping everything that’s in my body right now. Except the uterus. I’d give up the uterus.

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?

Yep. Catalogs and collections of the Onion.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?

Smell, definitely. It’s my only really good sense, and it borders on the bionic.

When was the last time you had a cavity?

Um…about 15 years, I think.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?

My mood. Ha.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

Nope.

MISC-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

I really, really, really would. I think that it would instantly cure my panic attacks (knowing that this is NOT, actually, the Thing That Will Kill Me). And I’d worry much, much less. And Big Fish is one of my favorite movies ever.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?

I’m actually planning on doing this, as soon as I get motivated to take care of all the details. Right now I go by a variation of my middle name. I used my first name until I was about 21, then switched to my middle name. But I really hate my first name, and I hate that I still have to use it on official documents, so it needs to go. I think I’m just going to drop it. Though I wonder if I should change my middle name to my first name and pick a new middle name? Okay. This has gotten complicated. Moving on….

How do you express your artistic side?

Various random ways. Still trying to learn to play the banjo. Made an amazing (if I do say so) set of rock & roll Tarot cards a few years ago. Changing the blog template regularly. Those kinds of things.

What color do you think you look best in?

All I wear is black, so it’s hard to say. Actually, I think I look good in red, but I need to get back some confidence to wear it.

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?

I can’t imagine. Even the question freaks me out.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?

No, but I did sniff a pearl. See above.

If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?

I don’t think so…but I might make a pass at one of GB’s cousins.

How often do you go to church?

I’ve been to 2 church services in my life that weren’t lifecycle rituals or for other non-churchy reasons, and both of those were accompanying my mom to her church on Christmas Eve, as an adult, just to be nice.

Have you ever saved someone’s life?

I don’t think so.

Has someone ever saved yours?

Hmmm….not literally, I think.

DARE-OLOGY

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?

Yeeeee-aaaaah. If I could regain a little self-esteem first. Yeah, I’d do it.

Would you kiss a member of the gender you don’t normally kiss, for $100?*

Wait, let me see if I have $100 on me… (Though my new answer, based on my new question, is that there is no gender I don’t normally kiss, so this question is still irrelevant for me. Ask me if I’d kiss a frat boy for $100–now THAT’S a dare.)

Would you have sex with a member of gender you don’t usually have sex with for $10,000?

(Ditto above. Would I have sex with a Republican, or a pro-life fundamentalist Pentecostal, or a 20-year-old frat boy, or any of the kids at our party last week, for $10,000? No. Fucking. Way.)

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?

I think I might.

Would you never blog again for $50,000?

Hell yeah! I’d just email you all every day.

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?

Yeah, all right.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

Only $1000? That won’t even pay my rent for August. I’ll pass on this one.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?

Absolutely, if I get to pick the human. I can say no more.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?

Yep.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?

Yeah, if I can still watch movies.

Yeah. That was long and a little tedious. I heart long boring memes.

*Edited because heteronormativity sucks ass, and not in a good way.

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