Age when I moved out of my parents’ house: 16
Age I am now: 34
Apartments I’ve lived in during those 18 years: 15
Longest I’ve ever lived in the same apartment: 2.5 years
Shortest time in any apartment: 6 months

Days until we have to be out of this apartment: 24
Apartments we have ready to move into: 0
Number of apartment listings I’ve made phone calls about today: 6 and counting
Apartments we have appointments to see tomorrow: 3
Number of realtors today who have told me that law school loans “don’t count” as income and that my Teaching Flunky pay isn’t going to cut it for the landlords: 1
Percentage of my Teaching Flunky pay that will go to rent: ~75%
(Number of jobs I have lined up for next year: 0)
Number of parents we will hit up as cosigners: > 2
Number of times on the phone today I’ve felt embarrassed about my inability to achieve financial independence: 2

Number of cats we live with: 4
Number of cats we claim to live with: 2
Number of different colors of our cats, making the possibility of being discovered in this lie slightly less frightening: 2
Number of times, in 18 years of apartment hunting, that a realtor has suggested I “just get rid of a cat or two”: > 10
Number of times I have rented from realtors who suggest such things: 0
Bedrooms in our current apartment: 3, + living room, kitchen, basement and garage
Bedrooms in our next apartment: 1, + living room and kitchen (hopefully)
Amount of stuff we need to get rid of to fit into new apartment: approximately 4 tons
How demoralized I am by the apartment-hunting process, on a scale of 1-10: 8, but ask me again after tomorrow.