We’ve been making jokes about the title of this movie since before it came out–er, I mean, since before it was released. The jokes started mostly in response to Bad Idea’s thinly veiled relatively subtle overtly homoerotic drunken a) quasi-joking moves on the Squirrel, and b) loud and endless quoting of various parts of the movie. Bareback Mountain was the first and most obvious choice, but Bad Idea himself suggested Hairback Mountain (because–well, most things about Bad Idea are attractive, but he does have this one unfortunate physical trait…).

Apparently–in retrospect–we should have interrupted Bad Idea’s repeated drunken “I wish I could quit you”s to ask him, you know, whether the movie sucked or not. Could have saved ourselves 135 minutes, is all I’m saying.

GB gets credit for Boreback Mountain. Also, another 45 minutes into it, Snoreback Mountain. Which is a stretch, but sadly, far too true.

What a crappy movie.

Okay–Gospel Bob and I are not this movie’s target audience. I’m guessing that this movie’s target audience is the type that left the theater saying, “Huh, so some people who seem straight might really be gay? How about that. And queers have feelings too. Huh.”

Seriously. Did anyone actually buy that these guys had this lifelong, obsessive love? Did we see anything here to make us understand why they’re in love, or even what they see in each other (except for the hot cowboy action and, of course, Jake Gyllenhaal‘s dreamy eyes)? Is it wrong of me to have wanted some convincing emotion, or an interesting plotline, or even a smidgen of chemistry between these guys?

I’m just not buying it. A day later, GB is still grumbling about being duped by all the hype, and I have to agree.