I can’t actually see what I’m typing, though I can still see the screen a bit. I expect that I won’t even be able to say that in about an hour, so I’m checking back in now to say that Yay!–my retina is still attached. This wasn’t entirely crazy-anxiety worry; I have lattice degeneration of the retinas, a genetic problem that means that my retinas are stretched crazy thin. My mom and my sister’s have spontaneously detached (leading to frantic immediate eye surgeries), and my nephew and niece have it as well. It’s relatively rare, and it can lead to spontaneous detachment, or the retina can detach if there’s a blow to the head.

The ophthamologist I just saw advised me not to take up boxing.

Anyway, mine are fine, but I’ve got it bad; apparently preventative surgery would be pointless, since it would involve, like, 200 laser hits. Or something like that.

But apparently this is my week for bizarre medical encounters. Tomorrow I’m going to have a tiny cyst removed from the tip of my tongue, where it has lived in relative comfort and security for 10 months. Apparently the cyst itself is no big; the oral surgeon says it was caused by trauma to a tastebud (like when you bite your tongue), and then it just filled with fluid. It’s totally painless but is starting to make me slur a bit–yes, even when I’m (relatively) sober.

I’ve been debating, but I think I’m going to post a picture of it, because it’s actually not as disgusting as it sounds and because, hell, I can’t see it anyway.

If tongues gross you out, stop right now.

Weird, no? But see, not as gross as it sounded. I think.
Anyway, tomorrow, they tell me, the little white spot above will be replaced by…one stitch.


And before you say, as you inevitably will, “But Luckybuzz…isn’t that a BIG OL’ STUD in your tongue?”, I must remind you that, odd as it seems, tongue piercings are completely painless. Okay, and this is a tangent I hadn’t planned on, but…I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. The next 3 days after the piercing, when your tongue swells enormously and you can’t eat and drool constantly? THAT is painful, and unattractive to boot. But the piercing itself? Zero pain. No nerves in the center of the tongue, is what they tell me. Biting the tip of your tongue, though…eeesh, who doesn’t know how incredibly freakin’ painful that is?

I am totally freaked out by this, but I’m more freaked out by the prospect of walking around with this little bastard on my tongue for the rest of my life.

Oh, you can bet there will be photoblogging tomorrow. If I have to suffer y’all do too.

Hey, thanks for reading.