July 2005


…has been interesting, to say the least.

So San Francisco rocked. Old fashioned drinking Friday night, Yellow Sub in the Park on Saturday, the first annual dreadlock memorial pig open….just a fabulous time all around.

Oh yeah, and I have a completely, drastically new look, courtesy of Skycat, who continues to Not Let Me Down with insane and silly suggestions that tend to radically improve my life. Hint: it has to do with my hair. And I was originally going to write a Big Long Posting about it, but really, it just seems so natural at this point (5 days later) that I might not. Or I might later. Anyway. My head feels good.

Went home for one night, then flew out again. At Mom’s now for leg 2 of the trip. So far so good…..met Mom’s new dog, who is incredibly sweet and reminds me a ton of Mom’s sadly-and-suddenly-departed other dog. Took the dog out for a walk this morning, which seemed like a great idea at the time. Unfortunately, I forgot a couple things about this town:
1) Mom lives right off a main highway with no shade, no sidewalk, and lots of traffic;
2) the dog is never walked on a leash, and while she means well, doesn’t quite get the idea;
3) people around here are really, really dumb. To wit: we walked up to a little coffee shack that’s new since the last time I was here. Yay, coffee within walking distance! So I tied the dog up outside, went in, had this conversation:
Me: Do you have bottled water?
Obvious coffee-trainee: No.
Me: Okay, could I get a nonfat iced mocha and a cup of water for my dog?
OC-T: What?
Other Coffee Employee: Ring up a mocha *latte* (significant look at me). (To me)–Nonfat? You mean with skim milk?
Me: Yes. And a cup of water for my dog?
OC-T: We have sweet tea. How about that?
Me: I think that might be too much caffeine for her. Could I maybe just get water?
OC-T: Yeah, I guess.

….well, the mocha was good. Maybe the dog would have enjoyed sweet tea. Though the water seemed to suit her all right.

Dear God the south annoys me. More on that soon, I’m sure.

OK fine. I’ve seen this one everywhere, and I’ve been avoiding it, but Taz tagged me so I’ll play along:

What were three of the stupidest things you’ve done in your life?

Y’know, I think Dylan said it best in “Brownsville Girl”: “I don’t have any regrets. They can talk about me plenty when I’m gone.”

OK, seriously, this question shouldn’t be this hard…

1) Getting frustrated at not learning to play guitar fast enough when I was 14 and giving it up. I’ve *still* not learned to play an instrument as a result of that, though the banjo, as always is coming along.
2) Starting to smoke. I have 6 months quit today (!!) and it’s still hard.
3) Taking 5 lazy years off between my MA and PhD programs.

At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

I think that once the new term starts, I’ll probably say my dissertation advisor, but right now I can’t get in touch with him so he’s got no discernable influence. Honestly? I think Gospel Bob. I value his opinions more than almost anyone, though he’s a big ol’ freak and I probably shouldn’t. 🙂

If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

See, I don’t know why, but I’ve always hated this type of question. So: Jezebel, Harry Houdini, Jim Jones, and Keith Richards and Gram Parsons from about 1970.

If you had three wishes not supernatural, what would they be?

1) financial and emotional stability and happiness for my family, friends and myself.
2) a super fast and safe form of transportation that would let me see my family/long distance friends easily and instantly
3) [holding off on this one until I’m more inspired]

Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

My current city, or my hometown(s)? OK, I’ll go with place i live now:

2 things I regret my city not having: good Thai food and better weather.
2 things people should avoid: “Mexican” food and summer.

Name one event that has changed your life.

My birth. Thanks, Mom.

Tag five people.

Um um um. Everyone has done this. So…Melissa, Skycat (good enough reason to start!), Carolyn (ditto), and anyone else so motivated….

This is (part of) Gospel Bob’s parents’ backyard, seen from the back veranda. The Pacific Ocean is off to the left (camera phone, thus the blurriness). This is where I’ve been having my morning coffee (and where I used to smoke, waaaaay back in the day. Okay, this is actually my first time in California–ever!–as a nonsmoker, which is still weird and difficult. But off topic.). The view is so incredibly beautiful, and I have a hard time believing people I know actually live like this. Anyway. I’m abandoning my original snarky post, for now at least. It’s pretty. 🙂

So. California’s going all right, though Gospel Bob’s* family is stressing me out a little. Not the Grandparents–they’re awesome, as usual–but it’s weird how being around his parents makes both of us lose 20 years. Suddenly we’re both surly, argumentative teenagers complaining how we never get to do what we want. My parents have a similar effect on both of us, I think, though my family now brings out less of the sullen teen in me and more of the obnoxious know-it-all. Well, hey! I’ll get to test this out when I see my family next week.

Weird, though–does everyone get stuck at some weird, awkward adolescent point with their families? To all external appearances, I’m well on my way to becoming a “professional”…but it’s going to take willpower not to smack my little sister (who’s pushing 30). Jesus. This is the kind of thing, I know, that we normally dismiss with a wave of the hand and a snort: “Pfff. Families.”

Anyway. I’m up super early (7:30 am!) because a) I’m so still on east coast time, and b) we’re off to San Francisco today. I’ve been bitchy about going to SF–acting like I don’t care who we see or who comes out to the bar tonight–but I woke up early, and couldn’t go back to sleep, and realized that I’m totally fucking excited to see everyone. And my city. I do miss San Francisco, still–I love the east coast, but SF was the first place I ever felt completely at home. More than I do now, though the people now make up for it….but yeah, I’m excited to see my city, and hang out with the Drunks, and eat Yellow Sub and burritos, and so psyched we’re staying with J & T. So all right, fine, I admit it. I’ve been bitchy because I’ve been worried that no one will come out for drinks with us, or that after not seeing anyone there for, god, 2 years?–I’ll be a disappointment, somehow. More on that another time, maybe. But fuck it. I’ll report back. Gotta wake up Gospel Bob and hit the road. 🙂

*Gospel Bob picked his own pseudonym. Here’s what I find odd: okay, so we established years and years ago that Gospel Bob and I do things completely differently, and his ways tend to mystify me. So I told him about this blog, and explained its pseudonymous-ness, and asked if he wanted to pick his own pseudonym. He picked Gospel Bob (it’s okay, I know why). But: at no point has he asked to see the blog.

Is that totally weird, or is it just me? I mean, he knows I have a blog. He knows he’s in it. Yet he’s not at all curious to see what I’m saying about it/him/me/our friends/our lives?

I can think of several reasons why this might be the case:

1) he’s respecting my privacy, and trusts that I won’t say anything mean or unfair about him (yeah, except he’s known me a *long* time and is consistently annoyed by my, ahem, exaggerating tendencies).

2) he’s pretty sure I’ll show him eventually (maybe).

3) he has a blog of his own, and he’s worried this will blow his cover (so, so unlikely, but “unlikely” is often like Gospel Bob).

4) he hates me and has no interest in anything that might happen here (Um, yeah. OK, I’m pretty sure it’s not this. But why is it that this is still an option, in my mind? At what point does the neurosis let up and let me realize that I’m not *actually* keeping him prisoner in a relationship he hates? Yes, okay, I think we can safely rule this one out, with a special note to write more about the Illness That Is #4.)

Also, comments on why I’m a freak about this, and suggestions about how to fix my head on this issue, are welcome, though naturally I’ll delete mean ones. Or ones I don’t like. Thank you, The Mgt.

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 80%
Pride: 40%
Sloth: 40%
Gluttony: 20%
Greed: 20%
Wrath: 20%
Envy: 0%
Chance You’ll Go to Hell: 31%
You’ll die from overexertion. *wink*
How Sinful Are You?

Well, as long as I’m trying to figure out some sort of focus for this here blog, this seems like a good place to start.

Starting this blog feels a lot like a first date. How much to reveal? Do I admit to my crazy cat lady tendencies early? Do I stick with grad-student-professional voice? Do I just throw everything out as soon as possible and see who sticks around?

Well, I’m leaning toward the last option, obviously.

First of all, Providence is really freakin’ hard to get to. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s “just as easy” to fly out of Providence as it is to fly out of Logan (and you know who you are). Our entire traveling time yesterday was about 14 hours, east coast door to west coast door. Granted, it took the pioneers months. But it’s the 21st century. Should it take me an entire *day* just to switch oceans?
On the other hand, I’d forgotten how much the Pacific is worth waiting for.

I actually do intend to fill this space, eventually, with something witty, topical, informative, or at least entertaining. I’ve been trying to figure out if I want to have some sort of focus here: grad school gripings? rock&roll ramblings? bumper pool bitching? family frustrations? love’s labors? ‘Cause god knows this could go any direction. For now, I’m thinking we’ll just see what comes up, and accept that this blog will likely be very much like my life (and relationships, and academic issues, and personalities) right now: multiple, complicated, often irritating, but with frequent, though erratic Worth-It moments.

Thus the name of the blog.

So it’s 8 am, we leave for California in like 4 hours, and I got no packing or cleaning done yesterday. Got no tweaking done on here, either, as it turns out. The Boys showed up with beer and a new grill they found on the street, and we settled in for another bumper pool/barbeque/Billy Squier/too much tequila night in the rock & roll high school basement. Which was a good idea, at the time. But now it’s way too freakin’ early and I’m hungover and dehydrated and I *still* have to pack.

Must. Get. Coffee.

More on the evening’s festivities later.

Next Page »